Mm, yeah, that's not really what I meant. It's very easy to go through dictionary of terms but the pertinent information, say physical feeling or emotional reactions, are completely lacking in that more sterile exploration. And then porn is vastly different from the real thing, so it's of little help. This leaves you as bewildered as you were before and the list method yet has to be pushed to one side, leaving you vulnerable. I'm thinking particularly on experienced partner vs inexperienced.